Unfriending My Ex: And Other Things I'll Never Do by Kim Stolz

Author:Kim Stolz [Stolz, Kim]
Language: eng
Format: epub, mobi
Tags: Biography & Autobiography, Nonfiction, Personal Memoir, Retail
ISBN: 9781476761787
Amazon: 1476761787
Barnesnoble: 1476761787
Publisher: Scribner
Published: 2014-06-24T04:00:00+00:00

5

It doesn’t take much more than a perusal of the comments section of an online article or a YouTube video to know that the net is a powder keg of emotional turmoil and destruction—one little word or sentence or gesture can set off a major war.

The Internet stokes the darkest parts of our personalities: abusive attacks over e-mail, unfiltered texts and tweets, passive-aggressive photo commentary, and one-liner status-update one-upmanship. The daggers can be passive, conveyed by a lack of response. Or, our newly acquired ADD speeds up the way we react online and removes most of whatever filter we may have, rendering us incapable of thinking through what we want to say—and making us more willing and able to be cruel to each other. And with the screen to shield us (no matter how many cracks you have in it), we don’t even have to deal with the consequences.

I have often endured the electronic dagger, so much so in relationships that I once attempted to establish a cardinal relationship rule: two people who are dating cannot, under any circumstances, activate the “read receipt” feature on their iPhones or be connected on BlackBerry Messenger (BBM). Now, you may recall my story of how the “read receipt” functionality played a significant role in certain fights I’ve had with my wife. I am saying that I think this is a cardinal relationship rule. I didn’t say that I had any luck following it.

I first learned of the power of the “read receipt” during a certain summer, when I was involved with a girl named Brenda and still had a BlackBerry. She was as beautiful as she was paranoid, and as witty and hilarious as she was suspicious and scheming. And at the time, I was a member of the masses who failed to think twice about adding a girlfriend to my BBM. Constant contact seemed so romantic, so close. I love seeing when you’re typing!

For the non–BlackBerry users out there, BBMing is similar to texting on an iPhone if “read receipt” is turned on. This is nothing like texting or e-mailing. And it’s more involved than instant messenger (IM), though similarly if the phone isn’t turned on or the person isn’t available (on another call or texting with someone else), they won’t get the message. Unlike IM, you can activate a “read receipt” indicator so that once you hit send, one of two indicators will appear next to your message: a “D” for “Delivered,” which means that your recipient’s phone has received the message but he or she has not yet read it; or an “R” for “Read” (with a time and date), which means your recipient has read your message. If there is nothing accompanying your message, it hasn’t been delivered because the person you are trying to reach is either on the phone or their phone is off or out of cell service range. When you are having a typed conversation on one of these devices, your thought process is revealed:

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